Thursday, December 17, 2009

My tree is finally done
I will now take the boxes upstairs
I do enjoy the lights
They bring quiet
Peace to the
Normally loud

My cat sat under the tree
All I saw was his tail

Outside the lights
are shining

My place is
Bright today

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


The afternoon is late
The birds are all around
I see that I will need to venture out
Into the rain in a while
The frozen lands are gone
No snow
Just frozen everywhere

My world is quiet
I like this way
Too much noise bothers me

Everyone is sleeping
From what I do not know
They seem happy though
And that's what I want

We got the tree up
Over the weekend
It's in the corner
I'm not quite done
Decorating it

There is turmoil
In my world
That's why today
It is good
That it is quiet

Monday, November 2, 2009

Colors of Saturday

The colors of the trees

Across the inlet
From my yard
I liked the way the
Clouds echoed

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

before the rain started

This last weekend, I was able to take a few photos.
We'd gone to our beach place
I get to relax there
The sun was out
One last time I'm thinking
Before the Rain started
Here is what I was seeing

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i said no

yesterday was a bad day for me
i wrote about it on my other blog
today is better but i still have a massive ache
in my head and in my soul
i will never be the same again
that day that i almost died
they brought me back
not the same
i remember someone asking me
and i said no
i had to go back
i had cats to feed
another person who had been
in a coma
told someone the same thing
that they were asked
and she said no
and she came back
and she is brave
i am most days
but yesterday was bad
and today
i wish it were sunny
i do better when it's not wet
just wanted to say that

Monday, October 19, 2009

In The Clouds

And as we wonder
Through this thing
 Called life
I think it helps to have a bit
Of sunshine
Cause the
In the clouds
It's not working
For me

Saturday, October 17, 2009

One of those days ...

There are times
When I don't get it
The meaning
The lesson to learn

Why things happen
What is the struggle for

Today is one of those days
Where you wonder

I will continue on
I always do
It's just that I'm
Getting way to old
For this

In my life
I've had to give up
A lot
Let go of
A lot

Just let it be
Never mind
That didn't just happen

Only today
I think about
What could have been
What could be

I'm old
Today is not
What I thought it
Could be

I don't really
Want answers

I just want
Peace ...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

look what it's brought me

This week I heard bad news about my beloved dog, Bella
We have no choice. She needs surgery. It's going to cost a lot.
She had surgery two years ago for a tumor.
She was a trooper. Recovered and kept on going.
Now, only a few years later, she needs another one.
Her xrays were terrible. She's a mess inside.
I love my dog. She sleeps on my bed.
I wish she could talk and tell me what to do.
Put her through this surgery so she can take forever to heal.
Just to wait for the next one.
Was looking at specialists online today.
Do I use my regular vet or someone else ?
I really don't know.
I quess I'll do what I think is best.
I don't want anymore dogs.
This is just too hard.
I'm the kind of gal that likes to hide from bad things.
I've had so many happen to me lately.
No matter what I do
They keep coming.
So, tomorrow I will decide what to do.
Where I get the money to pay for this.
For now, I'm just going to let her rest.
Just for now the meds have her out of pain
I don't like Fall
Look what it's brought me ...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Lilly Ann

As the days went by
I thought of you less
Never forgetting
Sometimes dreaming
How you were
The days we spent
The looks you gave
I'd give anything to
Have you back
Although I know
That you are gone
I will keep you
In my heart
Always there
Like you were
From the start
I am yours
And you are mine

Monday, September 28, 2009

on the lake

The peace they bring me
The joy when I see them
The sounds when I hear them
I had to take photos of this family
Swimming on the lake
For a moment
It all seems so good
So right
Peace ...

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Today I went shopping for two types of cards.
Birthday and Sympathy

The sympathy cards all say too much.
I just wanted a sort of nice photo and a slight saying inside.
Took forever to find one that I think isn't too much.

The birthday card was hard to find too.
Didn't want too funny or too sweet.
Ended up with one that I think is ok.

Makes you think.
Life should be enjoyed.
Cause like it's said,
you could be dead.

Just my thought for today ...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Perplexed ...

So here goes ...
I am over weight. Have been for several years.
Last year I lost twenty lbs. Felt so good about myself.
Around July of last year, it slowly started to come back.
Not that I did anything ... really. I just started to eat .. again.
I eat whole wheat pasta, whole wheat rice, whole wheat bread.
Fake all organic chips. Meat. Fish. Basically, organic foods.

Now, in my struggle to figure out .. what the h double l's .. is going on.
I have given up all pasta. I don't even know what chips look like.
I don't even stop by their row to admire from a far.
Chocolate ... what's that. I bought one slice of cake to share on my birthday.
We even did that for another family birthday.

I've eaten so many veggies .. I think that broccoli is the new four letter word.

I've looked on line. Maybe I have thyroid problems.
 Only everything says that most things don't work.

It seems that anything I put in my mouth .. lowfat fat or not ... makes me gain weight.

Do I exercise ? No, I do not.
Why ? After my coma, my right side is weak.
It sometimes likes to go a different direction than the rest of my old body.

I hope that this stops. The weight gain. I feel like a cherry ... plumb as can be.

I am in a good mood about all this. What else can I do ?
To gain weight when you're eating nothing fun is insane.

Go to a Dr ? No Way ... won't go to them anymore.
Dr's and I do not agree .. so, it's just me and figuring out what to do.

Just wanted to get it all out there ...
Been one of those frustrating months ...
Even diet dinners make me gain weight ...

I'm down to water ...

Not that I feel sorry for myself ...
I'm just perplexed to the max ...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

in my woods

It's a cool Fall morning.
The sky is blue.
The birds are few.
Kind of sad.
I truely enjoy seeing them.
I like the tree outside my window.
My driveway and woods.
It brings me peace.
I need it. Peace.
My world has it's ups and it's downs.
I fight everyday.
I survive.
And, I look out my window each morning.
I am lucky to be here.
I know that.
I enjoy life.
I try to.
I hope I do it well.
Quietly in my woods.

Monday, September 14, 2009

in a ball ...

it's one of those days
where you just want
to crawl back in bed
and curl up in a ball
see i knew i was a cat

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Thinking ...

And as I sit here
Contemplating the day
I wonder what I should be doing
versus what I want to do
Always thinking about that
Always have been
I'm a thinking
An observer of life
Of what goes on
And mostly of what does not
Today is a gorgeous sunny
Fall day
I must think of something that
you do in the sun and leave
the inside stuff for a rainy day
They are a coming
That is for sure

Friday, September 11, 2009

Too Busy ...

The end of Summer
The start of Fall
Leaves on the ground
Birds sing in the crispness
Blowers do the job
For those who are too busy
Going on their way
To get a pay
To work for the weekend
So they can listen to the birds
That sing about the Fall days

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I memorized you in my heart ...

You knew me a while ago
I was younger
You were too
I think of you often
My mind wonders
Where you are ?
Are you happy ?
I was when we were together
Am I now ?
I had to be
You didn't give me a choice
Do you remember me ?
Would you know me in a crowd ?
I'd know you
I memorized you in my heart

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Not me

I will not follow the rain
It stops me from looking
I need to be here
Just a bit longer
The sounds are true
The freshness will be
Someone else can
Not me

and wanted so much ...

I rode the bus to school
In my uniform of all things
It took what seemed like forever
I lived out of town
Had to take two buses to get to my school
While I road the bus
I would write
I would tell what I wanted to happen in my life
My life after this bus ride
The one where I had money and could do whatever I wanted
I was young and wanted so much
I was sixteen and dreaming

Sunday, September 6, 2009


I write my soul down on paper.
The words mean more than can be expressed.
I want to be that person.
 The one that has a book at the store.
The one who walks by and sees that her book is on the 'recommend' shelf.
 I want to be a writer 
The soul wants to be read.

Friday, September 4, 2009

A New Beginning

This is My New Beginning ...

Where I will Write, Tell My Version of The Story, Rant, Yell, Test out my other blog, do all the things I can't do anywhere else ...