Sitting pretty, I was until the thoughts kept coming to me.
Where and why.
I don't have those answers.
Never have and probably won't ever.
I've actually been quite happy going along my path.
Walking and looking at things I see.
Hearing the sounds of life along the way.
Never did it get to me that I was just doing.
Nothing special. Not me.
I'm a quite soul.
Recently, I have the need to be doing more.
I don't know what yet.
Whether it's a shift in location or being.
Time, it might be running on me.
Thus, the need to figure this out.
~ JC ~
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I have lost my ability to throw it all away and just dance.
I will look for it.
I will get it back.
Life does get to me sometimes.
I wish it didn't but it does.
I am not perfect. Not even close.
I sit here in my woods and I think.
Way too much.
About what was and what could have been.
The trail ahead of me is bumpy.
Too much so for a soft soul like me.
Only I keep going.
I always have.
I always will.
Only I'd like to dance along the way
and that I will find .. I will.
Maybe this afternoon.
I will remember that it is ok to be me.
I will be fine.
I won't cry every other minute.
It won't hurt to walk.
This is only temporary .. right.
The pain gets to me sometimes.
Only a bit cause I am used to it.
The heart that beats too fast
and makes me dizzy.
I will get that under control.
I will. I will.
The kidney that is not behaving.
Oh, let's just take that out.
Like I said, sometimes it all gets to me.
All of it at the same time.
Today, yesterday, the day before that,
it took away my ability to dance.
Maybe today. I can be me again.
The world that I pretend in
will allow me to ...
Just saying over here in my woods.
Just saying that life is hard sometimes.
Just saying ...
~ JC ~
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
~ ~ ~
Think she said but I didn't know what she meant.
Oh to be that girl again.
Not knowing the roads of life.
Just wanting and doing.
The years have worn their path on her.
She walks the crowds and no one knows.
The hope she once had.
She does though.
The memories of what she had
and what she thought she had.
People say that we get wiser with age.
I think we just get worn out from trying.
~ JC ~