I have lost my ability to throw it all away and just dance.
I will look for it.
I will get it back.
Life does get to me sometimes.
I wish it didn't but it does.
I am not perfect. Not even close.
I sit here in my woods and I think.
Way too much.
About what was and what could have been.
The trail ahead of me is bumpy.
Too much so for a soft soul like me.
Only I keep going.
I always have.
I always will.
Only I'd like to dance along the way
and that I will find .. I will.
Maybe this afternoon.
I will remember that it is ok to be me.
I will be fine.
I won't cry every other minute.
It won't hurt to walk.
This is only temporary .. right.
The pain gets to me sometimes.
Only a bit cause I am used to it.
The heart that beats too fast
and makes me dizzy.
I will get that under control.
I will. I will.
The kidney that is not behaving.
Oh, let's just take that out.
Like I said, sometimes it all gets to me.
All of it at the same time.
Today, yesterday, the day before that,
it took away my ability to dance.
Maybe today. I can be me again.
The world that I pretend in
will allow me to ...
Just saying over here in my woods.
Just saying that life is hard sometimes.
Just saying ...
~ JC ~