Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Cold but Springlike

~ ~ ~
It's a cold but sort of nice Tuesday.
The sun is trying to warm up the ice that's left from the snow.
Yes, we got snow. What a Winter we are having.
Anyway, the sun has melted most of it.
The dogs water dish is a slushy mix though.
Reminders of what was and is suppose to arrive soon.
Snow on Thursday. Say it isn't so.
I like it on trees. So pretty but driving in it. Yikes !!!
The one day I actually have appointments
and down the big hill too.
Puppy class is on Thursdays.
Not that I'm thrilled to go.
She and I aren't doing well with our homework.
I'm too old to be doing tricks.
I need a stunt double.
She's not interesting in the treats I got
so no down or come for her.

I am feeling just a tiny bit better.
Still have other appointments to make
to find out what's what and all that.
For today though, I have sort of hope.
That this struggle that I'm in is fine for today.

Mentally, I am having some thoughts.
Going over this and that and the other.
To go back, I think I'd pick the other path.
It would be hard but maybe I'd be happier.
Who knows though.
Crystal ball would have been nice to have.

And, that's my Cold but Springlike update.

~ JC ~

Friday, February 24, 2012

I Was Thinking

I don't know why but I was thinking a lot the last few days.
Maybe due to my new meds that make me dizzy
plus whatever else they may do.
I got pages of info on them and you know how that goes
 with what can happen and what to do if it does.
Yikes ..
I'd be done with the meds by the time I read the whole thing.
Anyway, one night this week, I just couldn't sleep.
The guy next to me, Mr. Boatman, has a tendency to snore.
Excuse me, breathe very heavily.
So, as I tried to get into my dream world,
I thought a bit about things in general.

The topic was what if I am almost done.
My time is up sort of thing.
My health has been in a holding pattern.
When I think of what has happened to me,
I could get a bit upset but
that wouldn't help now would it.
So, I just try the best I can to get whatever
it is to go away with the various items
I purchase at the local drugstore.
Over the counter meds are my favorites.
 Right now I am on no Dr. ordered
pills in various shades of colors.
Nope, I got off of all of those years ago.
I think better and just do better that way.
And, believe me when you wake up
 from being in a coma due to sepsis,
well, they have you take a lot of meds.
 Add in the darn nerve problems and those pills
and migraines and well, it was a lot.
Not anymore though.
I do over the counter and that's it.

Until, this week, I had to go to the actual Dr.
 Get those colored pills which were white.
Who takes those anymore ?
 After all I went through with the visit and
the looks of you were in a coma and it was due to sepsis,
 Yes, I was and lets get to what I came in for.
Believe me that takes forever.
I should wear a sign that says,
I survived but they sent me home with what was left.

So, anyway I was thinking, maybe I've run out of time.
That the powers looked at their books and said
how did she get away from us.
Let's go get her.
That is what's going on with me now.
The pills helped but not enough.
More Dr's needed which means more tests.
Which means more details of my past.
And, I forget sometimes what I've had done.
This that and the other.
It's a long list.
To look at me though, you wouldn't really know.
I cover it up well.
And, so I was thinking ...
One night this week.
About how fragile but strong we all are.
I'm a bit scared but I'm tired of that.
So, there you go.

~ JC ~

I'm going to write on Fridays if I can.
This week I was thinking about my health.
How I've been fighting so hard for it.
And, I lost this week.
I lost.
Oh well, I'm good at that.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Pie and Coffee

~ ~ ~
I remember one year I made him
a cream cheese pie with cherries on top.
It took me quite a while to get it done.
I'm not a cook and wasn't then.
I did do the graham cracker crust pretty well.
Poured in the creamy middle.
Found a jar of cherries at the store.
All in all, it looked and tasted fabulous.
Clean up was a total disaster zone though.
Why does it do that ?
Kitchens and dishes and what it takes to clean up afterwards.
Anyway, he liked it.
I remember bringing it to him.
He sat in his chair and drank his coffee.
Always always coffee.
I wish I could get that day back.
It's been so long since I've seen him.
My memories are forgetting.
I did actually almost forget today.
It's been twenty one years.
I wish he was still sitting in his chair.
Waiting for me to stop by
so we could talk over a cup of coffee.
Maybe I'd bring a store bought cake this time.

~ JC ~

( Today is my Dad's birthday.
He's been gone twenty one years.)