Friday, February 24, 2012

I Was Thinking

I don't know why but I was thinking a lot the last few days.
Maybe due to my new meds that make me dizzy
plus whatever else they may do.
I got pages of info on them and you know how that goes
 with what can happen and what to do if it does.
Yikes ..
I'd be done with the meds by the time I read the whole thing.
Anyway, one night this week, I just couldn't sleep.
The guy next to me, Mr. Boatman, has a tendency to snore.
Excuse me, breathe very heavily.
So, as I tried to get into my dream world,
I thought a bit about things in general.

The topic was what if I am almost done.
My time is up sort of thing.
My health has been in a holding pattern.
When I think of what has happened to me,
I could get a bit upset but
that wouldn't help now would it.
So, I just try the best I can to get whatever
it is to go away with the various items
I purchase at the local drugstore.
Over the counter meds are my favorites.
 Right now I am on no Dr. ordered
pills in various shades of colors.
Nope, I got off of all of those years ago.
I think better and just do better that way.
And, believe me when you wake up
 from being in a coma due to sepsis,
well, they have you take a lot of meds.
 Add in the darn nerve problems and those pills
and migraines and well, it was a lot.
Not anymore though.
I do over the counter and that's it.

Until, this week, I had to go to the actual Dr.
 Get those colored pills which were white.
Who takes those anymore ?
 After all I went through with the visit and
the looks of you were in a coma and it was due to sepsis,
 Yes, I was and lets get to what I came in for.
Believe me that takes forever.
I should wear a sign that says,
I survived but they sent me home with what was left.

So, anyway I was thinking, maybe I've run out of time.
That the powers looked at their books and said
how did she get away from us.
Let's go get her.
That is what's going on with me now.
The pills helped but not enough.
More Dr's needed which means more tests.
Which means more details of my past.
And, I forget sometimes what I've had done.
This that and the other.
It's a long list.
To look at me though, you wouldn't really know.
I cover it up well.
And, so I was thinking ...
One night this week.
About how fragile but strong we all are.
I'm a bit scared but I'm tired of that.
So, there you go.

~ JC ~

I'm going to write on Fridays if I can.
This week I was thinking about my health.
How I've been fighting so hard for it.
And, I lost this week.
I lost.
Oh well, I'm good at that.

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