before the rain started

This last weekend, I was able to take a few photos.

We'd gone to our beach place

I get to relax there

The sun was out

One last time I'm thinking

Before the Rain started

Here is what I was seeing

i said no

yesterday was a bad day for me

i wrote about it on my other blog

today is better but i still have a massive ache

in my head and in my soul

i will never be the same again

that day that i almost died

they brought me back

not the same

i remember someone asking me

and i said no

i had to go back

i had cats to feed

another person who had been

in a coma

told someone the same thing

that they were asked

and she said no

and she came back

and she is brave

i am most days

but yesterday was bad

and today

i wish it were sunny

i do better when it's not wet

just wanted to say that

In The Clouds

And as we wonder

Through this thing

 Called life

Thinking

Figuring

Trying

I think it helps to have a bit

Of sunshine

Cause the

Thinking

Figuring

Trying

In the clouds

It's not working

For me

One of those days ...

There are times

When I don't get it

The meaning

The lesson to learn

Why things happen

What is the struggle for

Today is one of those days

Where you wonder

Why

I will continue on

I always do

It's just that I'm

Getting way to old

For this

In my life

I've had to give up

A lot

Let go of

A lot

Just let it be

Never mind

That didn't just happen

Only today

I think about

What could have been

What could be

I'm old

Today is not

What I thought it

Could be

I don't really

Want answers

I just want

Peace ...

look what it's brought me

This week I heard bad news about my beloved dog, Bella

We have no choice. She needs surgery. It's going to cost a lot.

She had surgery two years ago for a tumor.

She was a trooper. Recovered and kept on going.

Now, only a few years later, she needs another one.

Her xrays were terrible. She's a mess inside.

I love my dog. She sleeps on my bed.

I wish she could talk and tell me what to do.

Put her through this surgery so she can take forever to heal.

Just to wait for the next one.

Was looking at specialists online today.

Do I use my regular vet or someone else ?

I really don't know.

I quess I'll do what I think is best.

I don't want anymore dogs.

This is just too hard.

I'm the kind of gal that likes to hide from bad things.

I've had so many happen to me lately.

No matter what I do

They keep coming.

So, tomorrow I will decide what to do.

Where I get the money to pay for this.

For now, I'm just going to let her rest.

Just for now the meds have her out of pain

I don't like Fall

Look what it's brought me ...

Lilly Ann

As the days went by

I thought of you less

Never forgetting

Sometimes dreaming

Remembering

How you were

The days we spent

The looks you gave

I'd give anything to

Have you back

Although I know

That you are gone

I will keep you

In my heart

Always there

Like you were

From the start

I am yours

Forever

And you are mine