Thursday, April 19, 2012

There Are Times

There are times in life when one is reminded of the past.
It comes up in a conversation.
Almost like it was walking by and stopped to say Hello.
Only it's not a welcome visitor.

I had one of those talks today.
In the midst of explaining how goofed up my extended family is,
I was reminded of something that happened a long time ago.

It surprised me how it was like it just happened.
Those memories of what was.
I found myself crying.
The feelings were too deeply rooted.

I pretend a lot about my in laws.
They are a weird bunch.
Not welcoming or kind at all.
To the look, they seem fabulous.
People love them.
Only not when the doors are closed.
Not when the claws come out.
Not when they call you, yelling.

I put up with this for years.
Finally, I stopped.
It meant a real break.
The perfect look they were going for was no more.
Blame me. Always say it was me.
Only as I sat back, letting their tongues wag,
time went on and others noticed.
Questions were asked.
I had to explain what happened.

And, today was one of those days.
Where I said politely but truthfully what was.
The reasons I did not attend these so called family events.
The times that I sit at home and they go without me.

It isn't me.
It's them.
The people who I do not want in my life.
The upset that they cause is just unreal.
And, this perfect family who pretends
is finally being found out.

Just like I knew they would be.

~ JC ~

Note ~ My husbands family is the kind you
hear about. The kind you don't ever want to be a part of.
The kind where they do the snide remarks and make it
look like you caused it. The kind that could drive
someone crazy. Thinking was it you. Nope, never was.
And, my children were kept away from these people.
Recently, we let them be around our almost grown
children. I did surface. I'm good at that. I waited.
And, they showed who they are. My children are
both wondering why we do anything with them.
I tell them that I was forced to for a long time.
That I do not anymore and that they do not have to
either. Only you do wonder, when will this all go
away. When ...

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