Now

~ ~ ~

When thinking has turned into done.

Gone through all the turns.

Made a wise decision.

Been there and gone back.

At peace with the final words.

Resting now.

Quiet of the morning birds.

I am at peace.

~ JC ~

Thoughts

~ ~~ 

The uproar of the moment 

that took so long.

Lingering.

Always in the back of your mind.

Who's thoughts are you thinking.

It doesn't seem to be real.

I want yesterday back.

Or was it so long ago

that I can't recall

when it was fine

to be me.

I want those back.

The days of when I laughed.

I don't do that much.

I want what I dreamed of,

The realness of being me.

JC ~

Me

~ ~ ~
The lie I live

Not to be told

Wasting away

Turning in the night

Frustration over who

Make it this way

It was me

always

Me

 

~ JC~

I Will

~ ~ ~

Touched by the silence that is my life.

I am aware of what I do not have.

I hear the voice speak to me.

It was not near.

It felt my soul.

It is nothing but me.

I know the healing must start.

I am wounded and hurting.

I walk although I am no more.

Brave I am.

Stupid is more like it.

I let my guard down

and now I am in pain.

The scars will heal.

I will be fine.

I always am.

I always will be.

It just hurts a lot this time.

Oh well, thus is my life.

Quiet, someone might hear.

Oh who am I kidding.

 

~ JC ~

If I Were

~ ~ ~ 

If I were younger,

 

I'd walk away

Looking towards the sky

Thinking of what was next

Hoping for something

anything to make it better

 

If I were wiser,

 

I'd know to keep on going.

Don't get fooled by what is.

Know that nothing

would be better than this.

 

If I could,

 

I'd make a new life

Just for me and my gang

I'd never look back

I'd forget

And, before long

I'd be young again.

 

Even if in my memories

of those dreams

I had

and those that

I thought I wanted

 

If I were what I thought I was

 

~ JC ~

 



Hiding In The Heat

~ ~ ~ 

I took him to the edge.

He looked and walked off.

It's a different world.

Too hot for me.

He's used to it.

Knows where to go.

Manages his way.

No burns so far.

Among the numbers,

he is hidden within sight.

No one knows him.

He's right there.

Hiding in the heat.

 

~ JC ~

Lines

~ ~ ~

Fine lines running through my life.

Time to erase  them.

This way and back.

No end to the angles.

See them sideways.

Watch it get stuck,

Never going forward.

Lines are mean.

I try to cross.

Don't do that.

Looking at them.

Peace.

Just sit.

Don't even bother.

~ JC ~