So There

The view from my beach place.

I'm staying here for a few weeks

while my old house in the woods

is being fixed up a bit.

~ ~ ~

With time and light, a new hope arrives.

I usually give myself a few days to recover.

Emotionally and other wise too.

What that means is that I pretend.

That bad stuff is over.

It was all a mistake.

I continue on through whatever pain I'm in.

It gets to me sometimes.

Other times, I throw it away.

Again, all a mental game.

The emotions of being in pain is tough.

Harder than I would have ever thought life could be.

Only I'm not ready yet.

To give up.

I keep on going like nothing has happened.

I start new each day.

Before I get up, I say a little something.

Hoping that I will be ok today.

If I walk slower, maybe I won't be in pain.

It sometimes works.

Sometimes not.

So, for today, I write my list.

I hope to get some things done.

It's the Holidays.

I don't want to be an old in pain lady.

Nope, I do not.

Whatever is waiting for me in the future,

can just wait.

I don't want to know about this option or that.

I have cancelled all Doctor appointments.

I don't care about this failure or that.

It can wait til January or maybe February.

I am in no hurry to be in pain.

I mean more pain than I already am.

I will pretend that nothing is wrong with me.

I'm going to do that til I can't do it anymore.

It's the Holidays.

I have things to do.

 

So there.

 

~ JC ~