Now

~ ~ ~

When thinking has turned into done.

Gone through all the turns.

Made a wise decision.

Been there and gone back.

At peace with the final words.

Resting now.

Quiet of the morning birds.

I am at peace.

~ JC ~

Thoughts

~ ~~ 

The uproar of the moment 

that took so long.

Lingering.

Always in the back of your mind.

Who's thoughts are you thinking.

It doesn't seem to be real.

I want yesterday back.

Or was it so long ago

that I can't recall

when it was fine

to be me.

I want those back.

The days of when I laughed.

I don't do that much.

I want what I dreamed of,

The realness of being me.

JC ~

Me

~ ~ ~
The lie I live

Not to be told

Wasting away

Turning in the night

Frustration over who

Make it this way

It was me

always

Me

 

~ JC~

I Will

~ ~ ~

Touched by the silence that is my life.

I am aware of what I do not have.

I hear the voice speak to me.

It was not near.

It felt my soul.

It is nothing but me.

I know the healing must start.

I am wounded and hurting.

I walk although I am no more.

Brave I am.

Stupid is more like it.

I let my guard down

and now I am in pain.

The scars will heal.

I will be fine.

I always am.

I always will be.

It just hurts a lot this time.

Oh well, thus is my life.

Quiet, someone might hear.

Oh who am I kidding.

 

~ JC ~

If I Were

~ ~ ~ 

If I were younger,

 

I'd walk away

Looking towards the sky

Thinking of what was next

Hoping for something

anything to make it better

 

If I were wiser,

 

I'd know to keep on going.

Don't get fooled by what is.

Know that nothing

would be better than this.

 

If I could,

 

I'd make a new life

Just for me and my gang

I'd never look back

I'd forget

And, before long

I'd be young again.

 

Even if in my memories

of those dreams

I had

and those that

I thought I wanted

 

If I were what I thought I was

 

~ JC ~