Strength

~ ~ ~

There are times in a life where

you just have to stand up for yourself.

That is what I did recently

 even though it was a hard decision.

Some things and people like to run over or damage

 and then say sorry.

Nope, not this time.

I explained that this time sorry wasn't going to do.

I know that this person knew what they were doing

and did it anyway.

I didn't let them get away with it.

They are no longer in my life.

 

With that being said, I also am in take care of business mode.

I can no longer put up with things .. stuff ..

 craziness really that I don't want to.

Not like when I was younger and just did.

Put it under the rug so to speak.

Not anymore.

Clean up mode was what I was doing.

 

If I don't like something or someone,

I do not need them in my life.

 

Be it a service or a person.

 

Just the mode I am in right now.

 

I can do nothing about what happens to me

what is thrown at me or my loved ones

but I can do something about how I handle

these things and I am in fight mode and

from that I have become stronger.

 

Strength comes from within.

Cause physically I'm not strong at all.

It's all a mental thing and I'm getting good at it.

So, watch out Universe

cause if you are coming after me

you have a battle on your hands.

 

Just saying ...

 

~ JC ~

Maddy Jean

My dog is having surgery tomorrow.
I took her in for her yearly check up.
Ends up she has six tumors.
We got the call later that day.
One is cancer.
A mean type.
So, tomorrow I drop her off.
I hope everything goes well.
They are taking a lot out of my Dear girl.
I've been told to expect a huge incision.
We are hoping for stage one.
Didn't sound good if it's stage two.
So, stage one it shall be.
Her name is Maddy Jean.
She is nine years old.
She is my love.
She is my heart.

And, it is just one year ago
to this almost day, that I lost
my Sweet Bella to cancer.

So, I will not accept this.
It will not happen again.

Hell no Maddy Jean won't go !!!

~ JC ~

Be Still My Heart

~ ~ ~ ~

Ok, so far August has been interesting to say the least.

Two days ago, I went to my spine pain Doctor.

He talked to me about my options.

Put me on a med for the nerve pain.

We decided to wait for another spine injection

until my next kidney surgery is over next Fall.

He told me he could do it three times total.

The next step is surgery.

Fun talks that I have with these Doctors.

The next day, yesterday, I got into a heart Doctor.

Nice guy. Nice nurse. Every thing was going well.

Until, he listened to my heart.

He sure can move fast.

He flew actually.

I was having an ekg in two minutes.

He said I was having an episode

and he wanted to catch it.

I'm thinking, ok, was I at the Mariner's game.

I've always wanted to catch a ball.

Not really but I'd like to go home with one.

Anyway, he tells me I need a heart monitor.

Of course I do. Why not. It's this Summer's latest.

Isn't it ?

He walks me to his nurses station.

She's on the phone and gets me in right away.

Like now right away.

That never happens in real life.

So, I go over there and read a magazine.

Thinking, is this really happening.

It's kind of odd being taped and wired

and all while looking everywhere but

where this guy is doing things to you.

All the while pretending that he isn't

doing what he's doing.

At these moments,

 it would be so nice

to be a guy.

So, I am wired and plugged in for 48 hours.

Not bad so far except it's just plain odd.

And, that is the latest and wildest.

I'm thinking that August is going to fun.

It's been thrilling so far.

Enjoy your weekend,

~ JC ~

Muggy

                                           ~ ~ ~
Another muggy July has gone by in my beloved woods.
Overcast in the mornings,
maybe a bit of sunshine in the afternoons,
often times just clouds.
The evenings can be chilly or muggy as can be.

A few days were nice but only maybe seven .. tops.

Today, is one of those muggy, might be nice days.
I've already opened and closed windows several times.
I'm trying Summer clothes but will see if that lasts.

As you can tell, I'm on the West coast.
Not one of those warmer parts of my state.
That is for sure.

Only on one of those nice days.
It is gorgeous here.
Visitors are amazed that when the rain
leaves we have this wonder to enjoy.

With all of this weather wise going on,
I have endured another month of my
old lady pains.

They have improved.
I can walk.
I can stand.
Still in pain but not a ten.
Maybe a four to a six .. depending.

May August bring me a zero.
Ok, let's hope for a three.
Which means that I'd almost forget
what this mean back of mine has
done to me this Spring and Summer.

So, I raise my Diet Peach Ice Tea
to all of you .. ha ha .. all two or one of you,
and wish you a fabulous August.

~ JC ~

Progress

Another week has gone.
I've been busy with life.
I'd say that my pain level is better.
I'm able to do a few things.
Make coffee in the morning.
Feed the dogs.
Small but still so nice.

I can walk more.
With pain but more bearable.

I've gone to a Dr.
She's sending me to a Cardiologist.
Due to my heart going crazy during my kidney surgery.

I'll make that appointment for August sometime.
I'm going in for my spine Dr. appointment in two weeks.
I put it out that far because I wanted to be able to take myself.
I wanted to be able to drive.
I like doing things myself without needed others to help me.

I got a bit of me back this week.
I drove with an ice pack on my back.
I got there and walked very slowly with my cane.
Still I did that three times this week.
Major progress.

I also, made decisons about my life.

I don't need to do things that I don't want to do.
I live in a different world than most.
The simply pleasures of sitting outside
watching my dogs play in the sun
without me being in pain.
That is all I needed.
And, I got that.

So, this has been a good week.

~ JC ~