One Of Those Days

~ ~ ~

Days go by like they are supposed to do.

Only some are the kind that are remarkable.

Where you figure things out.

Today was one of those.

Not that I've been in a cloud.

Just things added up.

Two plus two finally equaled forty three.

~ JC ~

She Writes On Fridays

                       ~  ~  ~                     

If I walked slow enough,

I'd miss the bus.

That would give me enough time

to go into the library and find my corner.

The one on the top floor,

 where I sat and read my books.

I wasn't in a hurry anyway.

I've always liked to just stroll.

Walk slowly while watching the world.

I always have.

I take in most everything that some don't notice.

The leaves on the ground.

The wind blowing.

While I was inside reading about grand adventures,
others stood waiting by the trees.

I would eventually go out there.

I always had my other eye on the clock.

No need to be early for standing in that line.

Adventures to read about.

Later while I road on the bus,
 I'd be thinking about what I had read.

Only this time it was me

traveling in time and dealing

and homework machines.

~ JC ~

Everyone Does

~ ~ ~

Sitting inside the old room, she looked around.

Everyone was the same except for their shoes.

Most had brown with white.

Some ventured and wore plain brown.

One girl in the second row, wore red.

Made the powers that were mad.

A call home and still the next day,

she wore them.

The calling card of what would be.

Even at this age,

she fought to be.

If you look hard enough,

everyone does.

~ JC ~

I'm going to try
with try underlined
to write on Fridays.

Celebrate

In the grand plan that is my journey,

something good has happened.

My life has been a bit of this and that.

A twist here and there.

Major things have appeared.

Hung over my head like a cloud

raining and pouring and fogging up,

the total air that I breath.

It's gone.

Now, to deal with the fear.

Without this to twist and turn about,

what will I do.

It took over my thoughts,

was always there.

Held back the what if's,

always in control.

Of course something else

will takes it's place but

for now

I wish to celebrate

~ JC ~

My Soul

I have not been here in a while.

My Summer was busy.

Doing warm things.

My dog, Bella, died suddenly.

I've been in a spin since then.

My nervous breakdown last Spring put me in a

 'find the peace in each moment' mode.

I've spent a lot of time with Maddy Jean.

She is just sad.

Lonely.

Needs her sister back.

I am sad too.

I want her back.

I know that I can't ever get her back.

I've been looking for a new friend

for Maddy Jean and for me.

Each one that I think fits in,

gets adopted before I can get them.

My two kids are both at college.

First time that I'm all alone.

By myself.

Just the dogs .. dog ... and cats

and the husband.

Time to reflect on me.

My life.

Where it's been.

Where it's going.

The me that I lost.

The me that I want to find.

(if I'm not too late)

I'm tired.

Life has gotten to me.

I'm mad at what I think is not fair.

I know life isn't fair.

I'm just mad.

I want my Bella back.

I want me back.

A part of me died with her.

I can't pretend anymore.

I'm not sure I have it in me anymore.

I think I need time.

I need to do this without having another breakdown.

They aren't as much fun as one would think.

And, that is what I've been doing.

Aren't you glad you asked.

You did ask didn't you.

~ JC ~