Sagebrush And Sails

Pie and Coffee

2012-02-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

~ ~ ~

I remember one year I made him

a cream cheese pie with cherries on top.

It took me quite a while to get it done.

I'm not a cook and wasn't then.

I did do the graham cracker crust pretty well.

Poured in the creamy middle.

Found a jar of cherries at the store.

All in all, it looked and tasted fabulous.

Clean up was a total disaster zone though.

Why does it do that ?

Kitchens and dishes and what it takes to clean up afterwards.

Anyway, he liked it.

I remember bringing it to him.

He sat in his chair and drank his coffee.

Always always coffee.

I wish I could get that day back.

It's been so long since I've seen him.

My memories are forgetting.

I did actually almost forget today.

It's been twenty one years.

I wish he was still sitting in his chair.

Waiting for me to stop by

so we could talk over a cup of coffee.

Maybe I'd bring a store bought cake this time.

~ JC ~

( Today is my Dad's birthday.

He's been gone twenty one years.)

Looking Forward

2012-01-30T11:18:00.000-08:00

I looked at my cat calender today

and it's almost the end of January.

YEAH !!!

Seems like it's been a bad month.

Cold as can be.

I've been sort of sick with this and then that.

Still, I don't feel like myself.

Whatever that is but I know it's not this.

I have a better attitude though.

I will forge through and feel better soon.

I at least hope I will.

So, today I make a list.

Things I need to do.

Get done, clean up, throw away.

That kind of list.

In my world, I don't have big dreams.

Just small ones.

Like keeping my pain level below a five.

Just a hum so to speak.

I think I live with a lot that most people

wouldn't be able to survive with.

Nope, not me.

I can do most anything.

I have that hope that I will be ok .. again.

I don't think I'll ever lose that.

I've been to hell and back.

I still remember it but try not too.

So, today I look forward to February.

Whatever it brings.

It better be warmer and I better feel better.

I have that list after all.

Oh, and that new puppy.

And, those are my thoughts

as January comes to an end

and this Old Lady Who Lives In The Woods

takes a look at what is.

~ JC ~

Winter Hit My Woods

2012-01-24T08:21:00.000-08:00

Winter has hit my woods.

The snow was nice to see for a while.

We don't get it very often.

Then the ice storm arrived.

This is what it did to all my trees.

The cracking in the middle of the night

was the weirdest sound ever.

Scary .. really.

Creepy.

Trees broke all over my yard.

We couldn't get out of our driveway.

At least twelve trees went down.

Mostly Alders but a big fur went down in the back yard.

Power was out.

Cable and phone too.

Now, almost a week later,

I still have piles of snow all over my yard.

The trees are still everywhere

but have been sawed and moved

so we can get out into the real world.

My front tree is still hanging over

like it did in the freeze.

We hope it will survive.

The Alders I don't care as much about.

And, thus I am tired of Winter

and I know it's just started.

Spring can show up any time

as far as I'm concerned.

~ JC ~

My Thoughts On Six Years

2011-12-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

~ ~ ~

Today was a remarkable one.

It was the six year mark.

I was put in a coma

so that I would have a

chance of surviving.

I wouldn't have made it

if they hadn't done that.

I had the flu.

It went into sepsis.

Only I didn't know it.

I thought because I didn't have

a fever anymore, that I was better.

Nope, my body had totally shut down.

I remember some things.

Others I think were in my fog.

I do recall being asked to stay.

I said no, I had things to do.

I woke up almost two weeks later.

I couldn't move.

I was in intensive care for a while.

Then to the surgical ward.

Then off to the rehab ward.

Later, when I could walk a bit

and use my hands, I went home.

Had in home therapy for a bit.

I remember sitting.

Nothing much going on.

The computer was my friend.

I would look at things.

Find words that I didn't know.

Which was a lot.

It's been a struggle.

Mentally I'm almost ok.

And, by almost I mean that

I can make it through the day.

I don't get as many headaches.

I'm not as weak on my side as I was.

I don't fall as much.

I don't have flashbacks as much.

Things are easier.

From the outside, no would know.

I look down when I walk

cause falling isn't as much fun

as one would think.

I survived.

I came home.

I have become the new me.

The old one died that night.

And, I now go for year seven.

Just thought I'd write out my thoughts.

It's not easy to relearn to walk.

It brings you peace.

The simply things do.

I don't like mean people anymore.

Not that I ever did but I just can't tolerate them.

If everyone could be in my shoes.

Just for a bit.

They would be kinder, I think.

So, there you go.

Here's to six years.

Let's make seven even better.

~ JC ~

My thoughts on my sixth anniversary

from going into a coma due to sepsis.

Lights Are Shining

2011-12-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

The lights are shining.

The tree welcomes me into the room.

I sit with my coffee,

it's almost a week

til the celebrations begin.

I enjoy the colors

the smells

the singing of old songs.

Not the shopping

in mass crowds

The wonder that was

my younger holiday

is what I try to

regain during

these colder days.

So I wish to all of you

a Merry Holiday Season.

Be it sitting by the fire

or under the tree batting

at the decorations.

~ JC ~

I wrote about the

Holiday Season

I Do Remember That Day

2011-11-29T15:50:00.001-08:00

~ ~ ~

I remember sitting there.

I had almost forgotten to do it.

Time was getting away from us.

I woke her from a nap.

She was in her favorite spot.

I was ready.

I held her for that moment.

She wasn't happy.

I'm not sure she even knew or remembered.

And, time it went along.

She went back to sleep.

I finished cleaning up.

Years later when I see it,

I remember that day.

I remember her.

It's been long enough that I have forgotten.

I don't think about her like I used to.

Isn't that a shame.

She was the love of my life.

And, I forget about her.

Only when I look I see two old ladies.

I do remember that day.

~ JC ~

Written about a photo of my cat,

Cashmere & I posing in front

of the Holiday tree almost a long

long time ago.

She Continues To Write Even On Mondays

2011-11-21T08:42:00.001-08:00

~ ~ ~

She thinks back to those moments that gave her hints.

The times she thought what the hell was that.

Through the years they arrived.

She would get mad.

He would explain.

She would forgive.

And, time would go by.

As the years went on,

those times would come more often than in the beginning.

She thought back to those earlier times.

How could she have not noticed.

How could she have thought

they were just a one time thing.

Innocence and just plain couldn't believe it.

The fact that she didn't know him at all.

The fact that her heart was so broken

that it had mended itself

with a fading scar.

Only now that scar had ripped.

And her soul was leaking.

And, this time she can't make excuses.

She's out of them.

And, now she sits wondering

Where will she go

What will she do

Oh what the hell

What the hell

~ JC ~

I'm picking topics and writing about them.

This one was about a relationship

and seeing where the trouble

first showed up.

I bet you can't wait to see

what I'll write about next.

All ten of you or is there really three.

On Friday She Writes

2011-11-18T08:00:00.001-08:00

There is always that scene where she is looking out the window.

Barely awake, eyes half open.

She sees something out of the corners of her sleep.

Has to wipe the moistness off the windows with her hand.

Cold as can be.

And, there, waiting for her, he sits on the metal bench.

No flowers in his hand.

Nothing for her.

She notices that he is texting on his phone.

Nothing has changed.

Nothing ever will she thinks.

So, as the bus comes to a stop.

She gets her things collected.

Waits her turn to get out of her seat.

Steps slowly off the bus steps.

And, while he is busy texting again,

she fades into the group

and walks away,

leaving him there.

A grin starts to come

she can't help herself.

How long will it take him

to notice that she's gone.

She really doesn't care.

At the street curb

she waits in line for a taxi,

Looking back to see,

if he has noticed,

and of course he has not.

Where to Mame,

the taxi drivers asks her.

Home, she says and gives

him her address.

And, when she gets there

she is all alone.

And, when he calls later,

she does not answer.

A clean break is what she

needs, and a fresh start

to a new Season.

~ JC ~

Thoughts On Thursday

2011-11-17T09:14:00.001-08:00

~ ~ ~

And with the rhythm

There was a serge

It was my heart

Beating like it was on it's last

Where do we go

I have no idea

I'm lost in the world I've created

Pretending

Always pretending

Waiting to see if this one

Was real and with time

It was for a moment

I kept knowing in the back

Of my mind

That this was not

It was broken

I was broken

I always would be

I always have been

~ JC ~

One Of Those Days

2011-11-14T16:12:00.001-08:00

~ ~ ~

Days go by like they are supposed to do.

Only some are the kind that are remarkable.

Where you figure things out.

Today was one of those.

Not that I've been in a cloud.

Just things added up.

Two plus two finally equaled forty three.

~ JC ~

She Writes On Fridays

2011-11-11T12:49:00.001-08:00

~ ~ ~

If I walked slow enough,

I'd miss the bus.

That would give me enough time

to go into the library and find my corner.

The one on the top floor,

where I sat and read my books.

I wasn't in a hurry anyway.

I've always liked to just stroll.

Walk slowly while watching the world.

I always have.

I take in most everything that some don't notice.

The leaves on the ground.

The wind blowing.

While I was inside reading about grand adventures,
others stood waiting by the trees.

I would eventually go out there.

I always had my other eye on the clock.

No need to be early for standing in that line.

Adventures to read about.

Later while I road on the bus,
I'd be thinking about what I had read.

Only this time it was me

traveling in time and dealing

and homework machines.

~ JC ~

Everyone Does

2011-11-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

~ ~ ~

Sitting inside the old room, she looked around.

Everyone was the same except for their shoes.

Most had brown with white.

Some ventured and wore plain brown.

One girl in the second row, wore red.

Made the powers that were mad.

A call home and still the next day,

she wore them.

The calling card of what would be.

Even at this age,

she fought to be.

If you look hard enough,

everyone does.

~ JC ~

I'm going to try
with try underlined
to write on Fridays.

Celebrate

2011-10-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

In the grand plan that is my journey,

something good has happened.

My life has been a bit of this and that.

A twist here and there.

Major things have appeared.

Hung over my head like a cloud

raining and pouring and fogging up,

the total air that I breath.

It's gone.

Now, to deal with the fear.

Without this to twist and turn about,

what will I do.

It took over my thoughts,

was always there.

Held back the what if's,

always in control.

Of course something else

will takes it's place but

for now

I wish to celebrate

~ JC ~

My Soul

2011-09-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have not been here in a while.

My Summer was busy.

Doing warm things.

My dog, Bella, died suddenly.

I've been in a spin since then.

My nervous breakdown last Spring put me in a

'find the peace in each moment' mode.

I've spent a lot of time with Maddy Jean.

She is just sad.

Lonely.

Needs her sister back.

I am sad too.

I want her back.

I know that I can't ever get her back.

I've been looking for a new friend

for Maddy Jean and for me.

Each one that I think fits in,

gets adopted before I can get them.

My two kids are both at college.

First time that I'm all alone.

By myself.

Just the dogs .. dog ... and cats

and the husband.

Time to reflect on me.

My life.

Where it's been.

Where it's going.

The me that I lost.

The me that I want to find.

(if I'm not too late)

I'm tired.

Life has gotten to me.

I'm mad at what I think is not fair.

I know life isn't fair.

I'm just mad.

I want my Bella back.

I want me back.

A part of me died with her.

I can't pretend anymore.

I'm not sure I have it in me anymore.

I think I need time.

I need to do this without having another breakdown.

They aren't as much fun as one would think.

And, that is what I've been doing.

Aren't you glad you asked.

You did ask didn't you.

~ JC ~

Walk With Me

2011-07-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

Can't believe that it's almost mid July already.

June was busy for me.

My son graduated from High School.

Took him to his Freshmen orientation at his University.

Now, I've been buying his 'things' for his room.

Just a few items left that he can get himself.

Come August both my kids will be away studying.

First time in almost twenty two years that it will be

just me and the cats and dogs and Mr. Boatman.

Where did the time go ?

I'm at the beach place for a couple of weeks.

Came down last week for the fourth,

Staying a few more weeks with the Purr & Fur Gang.

(The roof is being replaced at home so there was

no point in taking the Gang to and from.)

It's very quiet here.

Just the Gang and me during the week.

Mr. Boatman comes down on weekends.

I'll probably head on back home in late July.

Til then I go on walks on the beach.

(when the tides are out)

I look for small sand dollars and angel wings.

(That's what I call the small scallop shells that are still together.)

When the tide is in, it's like a big lake.

I walk down our small road and over the bridge.

I walk the loop around the Island.

Small boats and cottages with the cozy feel.

I truly enjoy this area.

I wish I could take my dogs with me.

Bella's leg is not allowing her to go on walks anymore.

She needs to be a walk slowly around the yard dog now.

Old age just is mean sometimes.

I might be able to take Maddy Jean by herself,

if I can manage to separate my girls.

They are always together.

And, I mean always.

So, that is my update.

Aren't you glad you know more about me

than you ever thought you'd want.

~ JC ~

Living The Good Life

2011-06-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

I have been busier than normal lately.

Could be that Spring was so rainy.

With a couple of nicer weeks,

I've been busy in the yard.

Not me exactly but the crew I hired.

For the first time, I gave up

and hired someone

to do my yards.

It looks so nice now.

Also, my youngest graduates

from High School this week.

After that, I think that the

Summer will be relaxing.

No big plans at all.

I plan on dreaming

and living the good life.

While I pet those

sweet purr and fur balls,

of course.

Not real exciting but

it's so much in the plan.

~ JC ~

Thoughts On Thursday

2011-05-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

I've been calmer lately.

Which is so nice.

My soul was weary and tired.

I sometimes figure things out.

Others times I am in
worn out from my journey mode.

I am blessed to be where I am.

Joy of life and the sadness
it sometimes brings.

It's all a path we walk.

Mine has been bumpy

and full of what ifs.

This week I've been quiet.

As if the turn I've made,

was the right one.

Where do I go from here ?

Always walking.

Turning that corner.

Looking at this or that.

Smelling those darn roses.

They are so nice

even with those thorns.

~ JC ~

Hope you all enjoy

your long weekend.

Nothing but the truth

2011-05-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write something witty.

Not happening.

I'll just tell the truth.

Which is what I usually do

and that is what has gotten me

in trouble most of my life.

That and my face.

I'm always told that my face

says something different and

shows emotions to others

that I don't really mean.

What am I to do ?

Be stone.

Anyway, on this rainy morning

I thought I'd say that

my life has been a turn and twist.

I'd just like things to go smooth.

Not happening.

I've survived a lot physically and emotionally.

I'm old.

I'm worn out.

I just want to take a long nap

like my cats do.

I will continue on.

I always do.

I will figure out what's best for me.

I usually do that too.

I just hope my face doesn't give me away.

Darn it all ...

if a gal can't hide behind her own

what can she do.

Drink perhaps ...

And these are my thoughts on another rainy morning.

~ JC ~

Potential

2011-05-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

I see potential in the skies

Clouds that mask the blue

Always drifting and giving hope

The warmth that might stay

The light that shines through

I am a believer

that one may find

their soul

hidden within

~ JC ~

Chairs For Two

2011-04-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

This is what I saw out of my patio door.
After driving hours through the Mountains,
to get to the end of my travels.
~~
This hotel is supposed to be fancy.
I just needed a relaxing last place
to settle while waiting for my plane.
~~
I did not get a view of the pool.
Which is nice I hear.
I got a view of the rocky hill.
A path that lead to a ball park view.
A mini table with bright chairs.
~~
I still remember sitting out there.
Thinking it was getting a bit chilly.
Now, I'm home
and have been living
in the rain for weeks.
~~
I might have to go back
to visit a warm place.
~~
Maybe not that particular place
but at least one with two chairs
that sit in the warmth.
~ JC ~

Birds Sang To Me

2011-03-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

This is a sunset in Sedona, Arizona.

The cold breeze was biting at me while I waited.

I think it was worth it though.

I went on a warm adventure.

Looking at cactus and hills.

Birds sang to me in the morning.

Red ones which I don't get where I live.

Now, I am back to the moist coolness of my world.

I really enjoyed my adventure.

~ JC ~

Cold Sunset

2011-03-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

In mid February,

I went to the Ocean for a quick visit.

This was the view from the balcony.

A lovely sunset welcomed me.

I watched as long as I could.

(Being cold as can be and frozen out.)

March is here.

I so hope it is warmer.

Next time I visit,

I'm planning on sitting in the sun.

I'll show you that photo too.

Here's to warmer days ...

~ JC ~

I found it !!!

2011-02-07T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a cold wet February.

January was just the same.

Throw in a snow flake or two.

I caught this blue

hidden within the clouds.

It's up there.

I'll be waiting ...

~ JC ~

January Sky

2011-01-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

I took this shot at our vacation place.
Cold as can be outside.
Maybe it's the cold
that makes these skies.
I had to venture out
onto the icy deck
and take a few
photos.

The Holidays are over.
The clean up is almost done.
Just minor things left to do.

Life has already thrown
us a few
oh my god
moments.

These things we cannot
do anything about.
We have to ride
the waves
to the end.

Til then I will
try to find
the simply
joys in life.

Sometimes it's hard
but even if it is
there's always
a
grand sky
to remind me
that
no matter
what
happens
it's
going to be
ok.

Happy New Year

~ JC ~

The Feeling

2010-12-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

December has arrived and I'm late like usual.

Only days til Christmas and I have tons to do.

Just little stocking shopping but still the busy malls

and finding parking are more than I wish.

Where is the Holiday Spirit ?

I just would like 'it' to be easier.

Ya know what I mean.

This is the new Holiday ornament.

I got it last January on sale.

Was 50 % off.

I almost forgot about it.

Looks a bit like a Russian egg to me.

With all of it's detail work.

We got the tree up last weekend.

It is now shining at me

in the wee hours of this day.

I enjoy the twinkle of the lights

the most about Holidays.

With it being dark so much

in the late Fall & now Winter,

the brightness of lights

and the joy of the

Holiday Spirit

are what I enjoy

the most.

So, here's to you.

May you enjoy

this Holiday.

I plan on opening

my Holiday cards

on the Eve

(yes, I save them up)

and listening to

music while

I have a cat or dog

near me.

It's not the gifts that make me happy

it's the Season, the feeling,

the not craziness,

the cookies,

the not mess in the kitchen,

the bows on the gifts,

(there could be nothing in the box)

I think you get what I'm saying

Ho Ho Ho

Merry New Year

~ JC ~

Holiday Clouds

2010-12-07T10:47:00.000-08:00

These clouds were hanging around during the T Day weekend.

I always seem to take photos aiming this direction.

We get the coolest colors over those hills.

Holidays are an interesting thing to me.

I came from a small family.

Thus I do not enjoy huge gatherings.

Never have and never will.

I'm usually the one in the back watching

the drama unfold.

I enjoy the quiet of this time.

Taking in the things that mean the most to me.

Nature and peace.

~ JC ~

Sunset

2010-11-17T13:43:00.000-08:00

This is a photo that I took a week ago.

(no photo shop .. just what I took)

This November sunset shocked me.

The afternoon was dry but cloudy.

It opened up just in time to show it's colors.

By the next morning, it was cloudy and wet.

I'm so glad I saw this in time.

October Sky

2010-10-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

This is what I call an October Sky.

Clouds hanging over the sun.

The hope is there.

For the long loved sun to appear.

Will it ?

The colors sometimes are amazing.

Glorious to see.

This time it did not break through.

The double shine was all we got.

I thought it was cool anyway.

Happy Halloween To All of You

~ JC ~

Blue Cup Special

2010-10-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

I can't even tell you how much I enjoy the first cup of coffee in the morning. I let the girls out and while they visit the new smells that the evening brought them, I get my beans and grind away. Sometimes I get it made before they come in. If I added the water before they are at the door, I quickly get their dog kibbles put in their dishes. I have two smiley faces at the door waiting. They come in and head over to their breakfast. Maddy Jean, my youngest, will turn around and socialize a bit to say "Thank You Mom". She's just that kind of gal. Bella heads right over to her blanket and eats.

This is my time to check on my fresh brewed. I add a bit of powdered vanilla creamer and off I go to the den. It's there that I sit and have my first sip. I open my emails and start looking at what happened during the night.

I'll end up having one or two cups but it's really that first one that starts my day. If it's really good there just isn't anything like it. The fresh aroma of the beans. The just right flavor of the creamer added to the darkness of the brew. It's magic really.

If I could, I would probably own a mini shop that sold coffee. Not the bars that are open at five by the gas stations waiting to get those first drivers of the day. Nope, it would be a cute deli style place that served the best coffee around town. The kind that people tell others about. That hole in the wall that is the place to go for the first cup of morning.

I just felt like I needed to share that with all ten of you.

~ JC & Meredith Ann & Maddy Jean ~

Meredith is on her post taking a bubble.

Always involved in everything.

Maddy Jean just came inside and like she usually does,

she is near me.

Contrast

2010-10-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

I took this photo a week or so ago.

It seems very interesting to me.

Since I got my camera,

I've tried to have it near me.

You never know when you'll see

something you just have to capture.

Today it is dark and grey outside and in.

Fall has dropped on me big time.

I like the light much better than the dark.

Even in this photo, I am enjoying the contrasts.

~ JC ~

Walking

2010-10-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like

walking

In the sand

along the shore

It brings me

peace

Just like the sand

that grabs my feet

Trying not to let me

Life keeps holding on

to what I need

Giving me things

to explore

As I age

my world

should be

quiet

It's nothing close to it

I try each day to find

the world

I need

Even if it's just in

my mind

Clouds on Monday

2010-09-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

I like to take photos of clouds while I travel.

These were exceptionally cool.

Swirls and twirls.

Nifty bon swifty.

My world always seems to be twirling

or swifting depending on the day.

I keep trying like the trees

to stay grounded as best I can.

Some days are not easy.

Some are hard as rock.

Lately, it's been in the middle.

One good day.

One really band one.

The next is bliss.

Just like the claps of thunder

my world gets turned over

and under and moist

all at the same time.

And, as I usually do

I shake myself off

and pick up the pieces.

So, when I see those

glorious clouds

I mark them in my

heart.

~ JC ~

I So Wish

2010-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

I went to the Ocean for my birthday.

I'm getting so old that it takes what seems

like a whole army to get me there.

Once I did get to the shore, this is who met me.

Fog was all around but I swam

to the sounds of the shore.

There I found sandpipers and a gull.

Just looking at the wonders of the sea.

I had a marvelous time.

Could have been there forever.

Wish I could be.

Back to my normal life which isn't really normal.

Thank God for photos to remind me

of what means the most to be.

My freedom.

The part of me that still remains.

My childhood days of running the beach.

I so wish I could be there now.

~ JC ~

Barrel of Color

2010-08-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

This is one of my front yard barrels. It sits at the end of my driveway or the beginning depending on how you see it. Since, I only go to this part of the driveway to water, I say that it is at the end. I think the colors came out well this year. Each time I try to get the right mixture. I always end up too busy to take care of them like I should but I think that it looks darn good considering it has me as a Mom. If barrels have Mom's ...

~ JC ~

Monday Clouds

2010-07-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

I loved the way these clouds spread across the bigger ones

Just a gorgeous sky

They interest me more and more these days

I look up just to see what they are doing

~ JC ~

Sunset

2010-07-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is a sunset from my recent va ca to Hawaii

We stayed in Maui

There was a lovely sunset each evening

This one was the night before we left

A June Evening

2010-06-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

The rain stopped

We finally got to go to our beach place

My first evening photo of the Spring / Summer

Of course, it rained by morning but still

Isn't this worth it ?

Owlette

2010-05-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

This is the photo I took of the owlette that is in my woods

Isn't he/she cute ?

Of course, the birds in my woods are not happy

They are singing all about it

I saw the Mom or Dad ... not sure which one

Fly over to it but I didn't get a photo of that

I now know more about owls than I ever thought I would

Been looking up info about sounds and babies and what type it might be

We think it's a barred owlette

Feathered Friends

2010-05-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

I've had several feathered visitors

The House Finch has been here for a while

Several of them actually

The American Gold Finch are new this week

They may have been here for a while

Their colors showing brightly just now

My two ducks were here a lot the last few weeks

I haven't seen them in three days

I feel she picked a more water oriented location

Either way it's been a lovely view from my window

Color

2010-04-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

I love color

I bought some plants for my yard

Brightness seems so nice

I have such hope for them

I imagine lots of flowers

Sitting on the porch

Cool drink in hand

Warmth of a lovely day

Not hot .. not cold

Oh the dream of what might come

Think Pink

2010-04-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Spring has arrived

Snow storm

2010-04-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

We had a snow storm

while we went over the Mt. pass

Who would have thought

you'd be driving in snow

in April ?

Road Trip

2010-04-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

This is a view from the back seat

during our recent road trip.

I was lucky & got a few good photos.

Sunset

2010-03-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

Sunset .. original photo

Sunset ~ after photoshop

What do you think ?

It Was A Warm Saturday

2010-02-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

This is the view from my vacation place

It was sunny and sort of warm

A hint that Spring is on the way

2010-02-01T18:28:00.000-08:00

Mr. Boatman took the girls for a walk on the beach

This is the bridge that goes to the Island

It's a very small island

Cute though

When the tide is out

You can walk under the bridge

To the other side

Where you see another small island

Wine

2010-01-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

I'm having a glass of wine

While I wait for my potatoe

To roast in the foil

It's been an interesting week

To say the least

I have an old body

Which has been on the outs

Hoping to feel better

Very Soon

Enough of this

birds on the tree

2010-01-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

It's a lovely day for January

The birds are on the tree

Riley is watching from the window

It was sunny for a while

The rain is gone

If only for today

The sounds of life outside

What you don't hear in Winter

Could Spring be on the way ?

Al enjoying Peace

2010-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year

I hope this year brings Peace

I wish for it

I hope for it

So many need it

Al found it this Holiday

(I got photo shop as a gift.

I'm in 'try new things' mode.)

2009-12-17T18:29:00.000-08:00

My tree is finally done

I will now take the boxes upstairs

I do enjoy the lights

Shiny

Bright

They bring quiet

Peace to the

Normally loud

corner

My cat sat under the tree

All I saw was his tail

Outside the lights

are shining

My place is

Bright today

Quiet

2009-12-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

The afternoon is late

The birds are all around

I see that I will need to venture out

Into the rain in a while

The frozen lands are gone

No snow

Just frozen everywhere

My world is quiet

I like this way

Too much noise bothers me

Everyone is sleeping

From what I do not know

They seem happy though

And that's what I want

We got the tree up

Over the weekend

It's in the corner

I'm not quite done

Decorating it

There is turmoil

In my world

That's why today

It is good

That it is quiet

Colors of Saturday

2009-11-02T15:22:00.000-08:00

The colors of the trees

Across the inlet
From my yard
I liked the way the
Clouds echoed

before the rain started

2009-10-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

This last weekend, I was able to take a few photos.

We'd gone to our beach place

I get to relax there

The sun was out

One last time I'm thinking

Before the Rain started

Here is what I was seeing

i said no

2009-10-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a bad day for me

i wrote about it on my other blog

today is better but i still have a massive ache

in my head and in my soul

i will never be the same again

that day that i almost died

they brought me back

not the same

i remember someone asking me

and i said no

i had to go back

i had cats to feed

another person who had been

in a coma

told someone the same thing

that they were asked

and she said no

and she came back

and she is brave

i am most days

but yesterday was bad

and today

i wish it were sunny

i do better when it's not wet

just wanted to say that

In The Clouds

2009-10-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

And as we wonder

Through this thing

Called life

Thinking

Figuring

Trying

I think it helps to have a bit

Of sunshine

Cause the

Thinking

Figuring

Trying

In the clouds

It's not working

For me

One of those days ...

2009-10-17T16:33:00.000-07:00

There are times

When I don't get it

The meaning

The lesson to learn

Why things happen

What is the struggle for

Today is one of those days

Where you wonder

Why

I will continue on

I always do

It's just that I'm

Getting way to old

For this

In my life

I've had to give up

A lot

Let go of

A lot

Just let it be

Never mind

That didn't just happen

Only today

I think about

What could have been

What could be

I'm old

Today is not

What I thought it

Could be

I don't really

Want answers

I just want

Peace ...

look what it's brought me

2009-10-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

This week I heard bad news about my beloved dog, Bella

We have no choice. She needs surgery. It's going to cost a lot.

She had surgery two years ago for a tumor.

She was a trooper. Recovered and kept on going.

Now, only a few years later, she needs another one.

Her xrays were terrible. She's a mess inside.

I love my dog. She sleeps on my bed.

I wish she could talk and tell me what to do.

Put her through this surgery so she can take forever to heal.

Just to wait for the next one.

Was looking at specialists online today.

Do I use my regular vet or someone else ?

I really don't know.

I quess I'll do what I think is best.

I don't want anymore dogs.

This is just too hard.

I'm the kind of gal that likes to hide from bad things.

I've had so many happen to me lately.

No matter what I do

They keep coming.

So, tomorrow I will decide what to do.

Where I get the money to pay for this.

For now, I'm just going to let her rest.

Just for now the meds have her out of pain

I don't like Fall

Look what it's brought me ...

Lilly Ann

2009-10-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

As the days went by

I thought of you less

Never forgetting

Sometimes dreaming

Remembering

How you were

The days we spent

The looks you gave

I'd give anything to

Have you back

Although I know

That you are gone

I will keep you

In my heart

Always there

Like you were

From the start

I am yours

Forever

And you are mine

on the lake

2009-09-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

The peace they bring me

The joy when I see them

The sounds when I hear them

I had to take photos of this family

Swimming on the lake

For a moment

It all seems so good

So right

Peace ...

Cards

2009-09-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today I went shopping for two types of cards.

Birthday and Sympathy

The sympathy cards all say too much.

I just wanted a sort of nice photo and a slight saying inside.

Took forever to find one that I think isn't too much.

The birthday card was hard to find too.

Didn't want too funny or too sweet.

Ended up with one that I think is ok.

Makes you think.

Life should be enjoyed.

Cause like it's said,

you could be dead.

Just my thought for today ...

Perplexed ...

2009-09-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

So here goes ...

I am over weight. Have been for several years.

Last year I lost twenty lbs. Felt so good about myself.

Around July of last year, it slowly started to come back.

Not that I did anything ... really. I just started to eat .. again.

I eat whole wheat pasta, whole wheat rice, whole wheat bread.

Fake all organic chips. Meat. Fish. Basically, organic foods.

Now, in my struggle to figure out .. what the h double l's .. is going on.

I have given up all pasta. I don't even know what chips look like.

I don't even stop by their row to admire from a far.

Chocolate ... what's that. I bought one slice of cake to share on my birthday.

We even did that for another family birthday.

I've eaten so many veggies .. I think that broccoli is the new four letter word.

I've looked on line. Maybe I have thyroid problems.

Only everything says that most things don't work.

It seems that anything I put in my mouth .. lowfat fat or not ... makes me gain weight.

Do I exercise ? No, I do not.

Why ? After my coma, my right side is weak.

It sometimes likes to go a different direction than the rest of my old body.

I hope that this stops. The weight gain. I feel like a cherry ... plumb as can be.

I am in a good mood about all this. What else can I do ?

To gain weight when you're eating nothing fun is insane.

Go to a Dr ? No Way ... won't go to them anymore.

Dr's and I do not agree .. so, it's just me and figuring out what to do.

Just wanted to get it all out there ...

Been one of those frustrating months ...

Even diet dinners make me gain weight ...

I'm down to water ...

Not that I feel sorry for myself ...

I'm just perplexed to the max ...

in my woods

2009-09-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

It's a cool Fall morning.

The sky is blue.

The birds are few.

Kind of sad.

I truely enjoy seeing them.

I like the tree outside my window.

My driveway and woods.

It brings me peace.

I need it. Peace.

My world has it's ups and it's downs.

I fight everyday.

I survive.

And, I look out my window each morning.

I am lucky to be here.

I know that.

I enjoy life.

I try to.

I hope I do it well.

Quietly in my woods.

in a ball ...

2009-09-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

it's one of those days

where you just want

to crawl back in bed

and curl up in a ball

see i knew i was a cat

Thinking ...

2009-09-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

And as I sit here

Contemplating the day

I wonder what I should be doing

versus what I want to do

Always thinking about that

Always have been

I'm a thinking

An observer of life

Of what goes on

And mostly of what does not

Today is a gorgeous sunny

Fall day

I must think of something that

you do in the sun and leave

the inside stuff for a rainy day

They are a coming

That is for sure

Too Busy ...

2009-09-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

The end of Summer

The start of Fall

Leaves on the ground

Birds sing in the crispness

Blowers do the job

For those who are too busy

Going on their way

To get a pay

To work for the weekend

So they can listen to the birds

That sing about the Fall days

I memorized you in my heart ...

2009-09-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

You knew me a while ago

I was younger

You were too

I think of you often

My mind wonders

Where you are ?

Are you happy ?

I was when we were together

Am I now ?

I had to be

You didn't give me a choice

Do you remember me ?

Would you know me in a crowd ?

I'd know you

I memorized you in my heart

Not me

2009-09-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

I will not follow the rain

It stops me from looking

I need to be here

Just a bit longer

The sounds are true

The freshness will be

Someone else can

Not me

and wanted so much ...

2009-09-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

I rode the bus to school

In my uniform of all things

It took what seemed like forever

I lived out of town

Had to take two buses to get to my school

While I road the bus

I would write

I would tell what I wanted to happen in my life

My life after this bus ride

The one where I had money and could do whatever I wanted

I was young and wanted so much

I was sixteen and dreaming

Soul

2009-09-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

I write my soul down on paper.

The words mean more than can be expressed.

I want to be that person.

The one that has a book at the store.

The one who walks by and sees that her book is on the 'recommend' shelf.

I want to be a writer

The soul wants to be read.

A New Beginning

2009-09-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

This is My New Beginning ...

Where I will Write, Tell My Version of The Story, Rant, Yell, Test out my other blog, do all the things I can't do anywhere else ...